Monday, June 8, 2009

It's the End of the World

I watched a documentary online called HOME yesterday that has scared, humbled, and plagued me ever since. I cried through the last half of it and aside from using reusable bags at Kroger and Wal-Mart, driving as little as possible, and opting for the fan over AC whenever it's possible, in the current world, what else can the individual do to take part in both the larger movement and society without committing themselves to living in the woods, under solar panels, greening all over themselves? I'm disgusted at my own complicity, and yet like anyone who reads this, I'm unalterably complicit.

According to Jim just came on...

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Tonight I feel completely helpless as I consider what impact I can have on any other person in this world. The more I think about it, the more I realize I should just be by myself becuase a) I'm no good to people and b) people are no good to me. It's not their fault, just like it's not entirely my fault that I'm bad to them -- but the point is it doesn't matter who is at fault because rather than blame assignation, I want joy. I want peace. I want a slice of happiness that comes from deep within, not from the satisfaction I might gain from making someone else happy for a fraction of a second. My work on this earth is for me, not for others. Others have to do their own work.

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